Rakshita NM

Woman wins Rs 3L compensation after boss sacked her for calling in sick on Monday

These were the headlines in my browser feed on a hectic university exam day. Something about the wording compelled me to click on the link.

I went through the article, curious about the lady’s apparent Monday syndrome, if I may be crude enough to call it so. The employer was annoyed that she had taken too many sick days, almost always following weekends. He did not even follow due process in firing her.

When the case went to a tribunal, the woman testified that she had Endometriosis, a chronic debilitating illness I am all too familiar with. The tribunal ruled in her favour on account of her medical condition. The employer, however, acknowledged not having followed the due process. But he stands by his decision to fire her because of her ‘pattern of calling in sick on Mondays’

Endometriosis is a disorder in which tissue that normally lines the uterus grows outside the uterus, leading to debilitating pain and a host of other symptoms. Some women have pain only during their period. Others have it on all days of the month, with flares or specific triggers. It severely interferes with a woman’s ability to maintain a standard quality of life while in pain.

That employer completely missed a point – the fact that regular periods occur on the same day of the week every 4 weeks. If she had a period on Monday the 2^nd, her next period would be on Monday, the 30^th. 

I was instantly reminded of when I was 16, watching a TED talk of a woman with endometriosis on Youtube, narrating her experience and horror stories with the healthcare system, which is notorious for misdiagnosing endometriosis. Currently, the only confirmative diagnostic technique for endometriosis is invasive laparoscopic surgery of the abdomen to look for the pathology. I was reminded of a friend who could not explain to her male school principal, that she was taking leaves every few Saturdays not to have weekend fun, but because she couldn’t sit or stand because of the pain. The embarrassment and lack of support she felt from some of the adults in her life overwhelmed her mentally, strengthening her depressive feelings and her anxiety. This was counterproductive because stress is a trigger for her pain. She eventually found a gynaecologist who was kind and who, above all, believed her. But there is still no reliable cure for endometriosis.

An estimated one-third of people with serious chronic illness experience symptoms of depression. 

People suffering from chronic physical health problems experience depression and anxiety at twice the rate of the general population. These chronic conditions are rather common too. To name a few – diabetes, hypertension, stroke, respiratory conditions, autoimmune disorders, and cancer.
This significantly decreases their quality of life. The initial diagnosis, as well as the inability to do previously doable tasks due to the disability from the illness, trigger depressive symptoms. They may be lesser motivated to adopt a healthier lifestyle due to mental agony. They may resort to alcohol and substance abuse. Sometimes, the emotional burden and stress may be traumatic enough to trigger serious mental conditions, including suicidal ideations.

“Chronic diseases are characterised by being prolonged in duration, do not resolve spontaneously, and are rarely cured completely. A person with a chronic disease experiences a myriad of intense and long-lasting feelings – everything from exhaustion and fear to guilt and resentment because of demands made on family and friends. It is often difficult to cope with the changes in life and ongoing treatment that accompany chronic diseases. Feelings of frustration and sadness are also quite common when you realise that the life you once knew may now be different.”

-Dr Ishani Hanspal, Medical Research Consultant at www.wellowise.com

Mental disorders are also a nidus for chronic physical diseases. The illness as well as the treatment and medications lead to severe physical symptoms. It is also seen that the quality of care provided to people with mental health conditions for their physical illnesses is inferior to that received by people without mental disorders. 

More commonly, for instance, people with depressive symptoms often refrain from healthy changes, like exercise. This adversely impacts their physical health, making them more prone to develop obesity, hypertension, and other cardiovascular diseases. 

People with chronic illnesses may already experience a fall in productivity and economic status due to their physical limitations. When mental ill-health is added to the mix, there may be a significant economic loss due to medical expenditure and a decrease in income. This will lead to more social isolation, and poor nutrition, eventually making it difficult for them to meet their basic day-to-day needs.  

Although physicians are trained to notice signs of mental illnesses in patients with chronic diseases, mental illnesses and chronic physical conditions share many symptoms, such as fatigue, which can prevent recognition of co-existing conditions. In some cancer clinics, psychiatrists are part of the management team. Palliative care also includes psychiatric support. 

However, these patients need support outside of the clinical setting too. Not only do they have to lead a healthier lifestyle and adopt healthier coping mechanisms; but we as a human society need to be more aware, inclusive, empathetic and accommodating of people suffering from varied causes. The least of which, for instance, is knowing that a regular menstrual cycle can last 28 days, which means endometriosis patients may take ‘regular’ sick days on the same day of the week.

Let’s be compassionate and spread love to our fellow human beings.

–By Rakshita

References – 

1. The Relationship between Mental Health, Mental Illness and Chronic Physical Conditions (cmha.ca)
2. Chronic diseases and productivity loss among middle-aged and elderly in India | BMC Public Health | Full Text (biomedcentral.com)
3. Chronic diseases and Mental Health (wellowise.com)

The first time I ever came out to someone was a surreal experience. I was 16, talking to my best friend on my mother’s phone. 

“I uh.. have something to say to you”, I texted her. “But I think I’ll wait until I see you in person”

“I think I know…”

“Yeah?”

“You’re gay?”

“Bi”

Being a queer person in a straight world means living in an environment that is never tailored to you. 

By the time I came out for the first time, I knew that my life would be unfathomably different from that of my straight friends. The internet told me about all the big things- the bullying, the stereotyping, the hate crimes. At thirteen, I knew that people were capable of taking my dignity away because they were the ones in power. They controlled the system.

But the bad things would not happen if the people in power never found out about me. I saw that as long as you walk the ‘straight’ and narrow, you’d be fine. Conceal, don’t feel, don’t let them know, right?

So that’s what I did. By the time I joined college, I’d perfected keeping my head down. I asked no doubts, had very few friends and my professors didn’t know I existed. However, all my efforts at anonymity ever did was trade the obvious, huge, battle-sized wounds for a thousand little paper cuts; and then the people ask “Do you want a side of lemonade with that?”

I once sat through an entire class about ‘unnatural sexual perversions’, two years ago. It was a lecture in my Forensic Medicine course and it shouldn’t have existed. Section 377 of the IPC had been revoked three years ago. But of course, something as trivial as a Supreme Court ruling doesn’t stop people from doing what they’ve always done. For my first internal a few weeks later, I wrote an essay on “sodomy, homosexuality, and transvestism” because that’s what the course demanded.

The reason queer youth have terrible mental health is not just because we live in a system that constantly tells us we’re worth nothing. It’s also because our friends and family, our colleagues, siblings, professors and bosses, seem to believe it and revel in telling us so.

The system is impartial and cold. It’s a machine that simply does what it is programmed to do, but people are flesh and blood. The reality is that systems don’t hurt queer people, other people do. I’m always more pessimistic than my straight friends, but that is only because I’ve seen the worst of humanity in ways that they probably never will. Good for them.

Over the years, I don’t feel that rage and hopelessness so acutely anymore. It’s replaced by that feeling you get when the lift suddenly stops – that pit in your stomach.

When I came out to my best friend in college and he spent the next month teasing me about crushing on him, I wasn’t even mad. The lift stopped, my brain filed another page into my ‘this is what people are like’ novel (that should be full any day now, so publishers hit me up) and I moved on. 

It’s truly amazing what straight people think being queer means. 

We were invited to a friend’s birthday party. Her farm was outside the city so it would be late when we returned. When we were discussing how we would come back, the girls decided just to stay the night. Simpler to navigate bad roads after sunrise, after all. My friend turned to me and said “Hey, you’re probably the only one of us (guys) who can also do that.” 

If I sat down to unpack every batshit crazy thing straight people have told me, I’d probably never get out of bed, But I could probably make ‘this is what people are like’ a trilogy. 

“Queer” is an umbrella term. It encompasses a myriad of unique, fluid, beautiful people. It’s a family as passionate and dysfunctional as any other. People don’t always understand each other. The worst ‘phobia’ queer people experience is often from other queer people.

A few months after I came out for the first time, my seniors in PU introduced me to a gay friend of theirs. I was nervous, and caught off guard,

“So, they tell me you’re gay.”

I hesitated.

It’s harder when you can look the person in the eye. 

We were sitting at a food court and I felt every eye in the world between my shoulder blades. 

I cleared my throat, “Bi actually.”

He waved his hands, “eh, you’ll get over the whole bi thing.” (spoiler alert: I didn’t. That’s not how that works) 

The brain is an amazing organ. It computes solutions better than any supercomputer. Every time we face stress, our brain throws us into overdrive. But the human mind is also stupid; because while its trauma response is great for physical stresses, and even for singular traumatic experiences with overwhelming odds, it’s not sustainable. 

Under constant stress and indecision, we begin to unravel. Unfortunately, the queer experience is a life sentence and much like prison, you go through it alone.

Research dictates that queer youth are more at risk for developing mental illness than their straight counterparts, even when we’ve grown up in the exact same households. Being LGBT+ finds a place under the ‘risk factors’ for every mental illness there is, and the reason for that is trauma. 

Trauma, though not unique to queer people, is intrinsic to the queer experience. So, mental health, while not just a queer discussion, would be incomplete without a queer perspective. 

– By Pranav

June 14th, 2022 marked the second year anniversary of Team Patronus. To celebrate it, we decided to tackle the theme of therapy throughout this month. In this 2-part blog, we seek to give to you a rundown of the basics of therapy, a few frequently asked questions and the gist of Nuances of Psychotherapy, a webinar we hosted with Dr. Yamini, a psychiatrist.

Rather than drone about the history and theoretical aspects of therapy, we’d like to walk you through the realities of it. 

The time between one considering therapy and one actually going is long and arduous, filled with nagging doubts about expectations, a hint of scepticism, and a large amount of internal bias and stigma. This often is because of wilful ignorance to learn what therapy actually entails, and the surrounding stigma attached to going to therapy.

When does one consider therapy?

If you’re feeling anxious, irritable or overwhelmed by any emotion or situation beyond the capabilities of coping, visiting a therapist can serve useful. However, therapy might be helpful to anyone facing significant stressors without adequate support or healthy coping mechanisms. This could be a significant loss, struggles with relationships, a feeling of disconnection.

Most people, regardless of their specific challenges, can benefit from having an impartial observer listen and offer guidance. Because of therapy’s cost and time investment, however—as well as lingering stigma surrounding mental health—the decision to begin therapy isn’t always an easy one.

What to expect from therapy?

Therapy is often a long process, with ups and downs. While there are various types and techniques employed in therapy, the colloquial therapy usually refers to cognitive behavioural therapy where in we address our dysfunctional thought processes and develop healthier coping mechanisms. 

Rather than solving our problems for us, therapists help us find the flaws in our approaches to it, and address the counter productive habits and actions we have.

This requires active effort, honesty and vulnerability from our side, which can be difficult. There might be occasional drops where we fall back into known unhealthy thought processes; but the goal of therapy is not to punish ourselves into a perfect version of ourself but to learn and grow to the best we can, making room for errs as well.

What to look for in a therapist?

Finding the right therapist firstly requires complete honesty from ourselves on how the sessions are making us feel. Look for traits of empathy, sensitivity, objectivity and flexibility.

It often takes time to get used to therapy, and to readjust one’s idea of therapy to the actual reality of it. It is easy to get discouraged, and the societal notions and conversations around it are not welcoming enough to ease the process. However, the changing discourse on social media can serve as a basic guide to find resources, support and aid to go further along on this journey.

– By Chitra Alse