Love, love, love.

For the longest time, whenever someone spoke of love, I always mistook it for romance. It took me ages to unlearn this. Because love comes in all ways, shapes, and forms. And there’s no comparison between the types of love. They’re all equally fulfilling and reassuring in their own way.

That doesn’t stop me from wondering how intense and all-consuming romantic love can be, though. It’s soft, and feels like being bathed in sunlight.

Really, what’s not to like about it? Holding hands, stolen kisses and tender touches, secret but heavy glances, thoughtful gifts, celebrations, the rush of meeting your significant other after a long time, or just generally co-existing in each other’s company. All of these moments are very dreamy and flowery.

Maybe it’s the feeling of being in love itself, because it’s so warm and fluffy. Maybe it’s the person. After everything is said and done, love is love and love is pretty.

Which is why it’s so easy to get carried away. To get lost in the whirlwind of emotions that come with it. To easily dance your way through all the red flags glaring at you in the face.

The thing about being out in the sun for too long is that you could easily get burned.

So, this Valentine’s Day, I want to speak about Mental Health with respect to romantic relationships.

1. The belief that a person can be perfect at all times should be thrown out the window. Humans are flawed, that’s what makes them beautiful. But what we should not do is glorify their mistakes. Remember to always speak to your partners about things they do (consciously or unconsciously) that make you uncomfortable. Confrontation is difficult, but necessary.
2. Mixed signals are a big no. Walk the other way. Do not give the time of your day to people who can’t express what they want properly. It’ll only make you sad, and worse, feel unworthy. A start of a relationship should feel like a flower blooming, not wilting and withering away.
3. If you feel like you’re not being loved or cared for enough, chances are that it’s true. Confide in someone you trust. Like I said before, it’s easy to get carried away when you’re in the thick of it all. It’s always better to get an outside perspective to put things into place for yourself.
4. Never make your partner your whole life. Your world does not revolve around them. You are your own person first, then comes your partner.
5. In a relationship, both parties are equal. If you catch a whiff of even the slightest bit of power dynamics, please step back. A significant other should be a part of your life, should help you grow and flower into a better person. They should never cause you to feel unworthy, or undeserving of love.
6. A lot of times, people think it’s okay to take out their frustrations on their significant others, but that’s unhealthy. And wrong. Developing healthy communication between yourselves will go a long way. Of course they’re allowed to complain to you, but that doesn’t give them to right to yell, shout, or worse blame you.

Wanda Pierce, a character in BoJack Horseman, very accurately says, “When you look at someone through rose-colored glasses, all the red flags just look like flags.”

So, make sure you remove your glasses once in a while and look out for yourselves!

Happy Valentine’s Day, lovelies. I genuinely hope you all are loved, cared for, and treated like the absolute treasures you all are.

– By Krithika Raj